Holy smokes! I haven't blogged in nearly two months! Writer's block? Maybe.
So I tried this class called BodyFlow. My rendition was more like BodyJerk. Let me be honest, I so did not try this class on purpose. It was launch week (yea, yea, in OCTOBER) and I was at Boot Camp. We did our usually 15 minute run. Clearly I should've noticed Shelley's flip-flops...or the matching Flow instructors coming in a 5 am. Seriously though, y'all. It was 5 in the morning. I'm lucky to notice if I'm dressed. We walk into the group exercise (READ: Zen) room. The lights were off, it was calm, mats were on the floor. I was stoked. Nap time? Heck yea!!! Ummmm no. Three lovely instructors trying to keep a straight face as they taught us the pretzel, inside out dog, the headstand and rubbing your belly while patting your head.
Frankly, I thought I was going to be a cakewalk. I did some yoga in my skinnier days. I mean, I tried it. Wrong! I was pouring sweat 5 minutes in. I was using muscles I've never used in the gym (ok, not those muscles). It hurt! It was hard. Plus, it was all "Ohm" and I wanted to shout or curse or at least crack a self- depreciating joke. Shelley was basically doing the splits on her head, and I was proud to get a 10 degree angle out of my legs. Plus there was "the moment". If you know me, you know that I have the gutterish mind of a 15 year old boy. I actively make "that's what she said" jokes- and laugh at them. So, we get I this position that opens every single possible inappropriate joke door (I mean even the little door a mouse would go through), and I had to refrain. Ugh! Ohm...remember? At least everyone was impressed with my newly developed self-control.
The moral of the story is: good thing I go to 5 am boot camp. Otherwise I would've had to try spin...and use THOSE muscles. Shelley decided to push everyone out of their comfort zone by having us experience classes we normally avoid. It worked. I actually want to try "flow" again. Maybe I'll be less likely to Ebb.
J
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Saturday, October 6, 2012
This Wasn't on the Brochure
So, today was the Warrior Dash. Let me be clear- no blog, no pictures, no stories or bruises can do it justice. This is one bad mamba jamba.
I'm going to try to tell y'all all about it, but I might get tired and have to do stages or something. Ugh.
A. Doing the Warrior Dash was so not my idea. Although we can't find the original source of peer pressurers, we're pretty sure their names are Catol and Rachel.
B. we had great plans of training for this event. We were going to the rock climbing place, lose weight, run... Ha! However, we learned that sHELLey is the best training.
Once upon a time there were four girls and one husband who decided to do a really insane 5K. They met a handsome prince (ok, he drove us there) who happened upon the opportunity for some "fun" at the last minute. The fire shot, they jumped around and then they heard "Go!" They started jogging through a real pasture with animal patties and holes.
The first came across a barrier that they had to crawl under and climb over. They crawled under barbed wire and smashed their thighs on the wood walls...
Much like Hansel and Gretel, they ventured into a scary forest. The handsome prince (trust me, he deserves much better for all he did) led the crew down a steep path in the forest. It was slippery and someone (me) wiped out immediately. Fortunately, there were no broken bones and they were able to continue to the rope climb. Each member had to tug a rope as they climbed to the top of the steep valley.
After a few more paces, they came to this crossing that required them to crawl up some wood and cross (up and down) the land.
Then they saw the fun! It was an "easy" obstacle. All they had to do was walk into some mud, climb a wee hill and slide back down. This girl was excited! Oops! Mud is slippery and it was hard to climb. To the tip top I got, woosh! Back to the bottom, I fell. Not once, not twice, but three times! Sadly, the third time included knocking down a person behind me. The prince could be heard shouting and giggling, "This is fun!"
They traipsed through the forest, down the valley and back up. Tears came with the rain. This girl was ready to quit. The crew stepped in, holding my hand, talking me out of hyperventilation and down the next valley. Some slid down on their butts, others went through the brush- getting caught by thorny bushes. Through a trap of lines, a mud tunnel on our hands and knees, more mud, another wipeout, and a tight rope bridge.
Am I forgetting stuff? Probably. The crew stayed together- faced the mud, the falls and the challenges. Soon, a deep pond could be seen. I could hear the Turtleman's cry-"Live Action" as I splashed into the murky water, feeling the tangle of pond plants. We had to team up- the Prince pulling our arms and strangers pushing our feet as we climbed on the barrier in the middle. On the other side, we had to plunge back into the freezing water, swallowing and choking on pond muck, swimming to the other side.
What is that? Music? The end is in sound. They crawled under the military barbed wire, raced-ish (as much as possible while covered in mud, soaking wet, physically spent) to the cargo nets. Oh my GAH! They loomed about 20+ feet up in the air- would this be our demise? My crew cheered me on, reassured me as I crossed the top and started back down. Whew!
The crowd was going wild! We were at the end. Our friends could see us and cheer us on, two obstacles to go, we can do it!
They ran- leaping over two walls of fire! One more...hands and knees, another mud crawl to the end. Right, left, right, left. My sidekick, my partner, BRENNA (making sure she sees her name) met me and we grabbed hands and crossed the finish.
That's where this story of the adventure ends. The handsome prince drove the warriors to their cars (in his undies) and everyone returned to their abodes.
So...you know when you shower after being at the beach and sand just falls out of your suit? Imagine that with mud, the longest shower can't help you feel clean and 9 hours later, you still itch.
You now worry about the feverish feeling- did I get a flesh eating bacteria? Is a cut infected? There is the sore butt, wrist and bruised knees and shins to keep as memories.
More than that- the fact that a 21 year old kid helped a group of middle-aged women through, the strangers who cheered, gave words of encouragement or a hand. The friends who made memories that won't ever go away. The knowledge that without our boot camp and sHELLey, sHELLey's BELLes wouldn't have made it. The idea that we did it, we didn't fail, we didn't skip a single obstacle. That's what today was about. Of course, as we slipped and slided down the forest slopes, one woman shouted, "This is not on the brochure." Thank you, strange lady. You titled my blog.
I'm going to try to tell y'all all about it, but I might get tired and have to do stages or something. Ugh.
A. Doing the Warrior Dash was so not my idea. Although we can't find the original source of peer pressurers, we're pretty sure their names are Catol and Rachel.
B. we had great plans of training for this event. We were going to the rock climbing place, lose weight, run... Ha! However, we learned that sHELLey is the best training.
Once upon a time there were four girls and one husband who decided to do a really insane 5K. They met a handsome prince (ok, he drove us there) who happened upon the opportunity for some "fun" at the last minute. The fire shot, they jumped around and then they heard "Go!" They started jogging through a real pasture with animal patties and holes.
The first came across a barrier that they had to crawl under and climb over. They crawled under barbed wire and smashed their thighs on the wood walls...
Much like Hansel and Gretel, they ventured into a scary forest. The handsome prince (trust me, he deserves much better for all he did) led the crew down a steep path in the forest. It was slippery and someone (me) wiped out immediately. Fortunately, there were no broken bones and they were able to continue to the rope climb. Each member had to tug a rope as they climbed to the top of the steep valley.
After a few more paces, they came to this crossing that required them to crawl up some wood and cross (up and down) the land.
Then they saw the fun! It was an "easy" obstacle. All they had to do was walk into some mud, climb a wee hill and slide back down. This girl was excited! Oops! Mud is slippery and it was hard to climb. To the tip top I got, woosh! Back to the bottom, I fell. Not once, not twice, but three times! Sadly, the third time included knocking down a person behind me. The prince could be heard shouting and giggling, "This is fun!"
They traipsed through the forest, down the valley and back up. Tears came with the rain. This girl was ready to quit. The crew stepped in, holding my hand, talking me out of hyperventilation and down the next valley. Some slid down on their butts, others went through the brush- getting caught by thorny bushes. Through a trap of lines, a mud tunnel on our hands and knees, more mud, another wipeout, and a tight rope bridge.
Am I forgetting stuff? Probably. The crew stayed together- faced the mud, the falls and the challenges. Soon, a deep pond could be seen. I could hear the Turtleman's cry-"Live Action" as I splashed into the murky water, feeling the tangle of pond plants. We had to team up- the Prince pulling our arms and strangers pushing our feet as we climbed on the barrier in the middle. On the other side, we had to plunge back into the freezing water, swallowing and choking on pond muck, swimming to the other side.
What is that? Music? The end is in sound. They crawled under the military barbed wire, raced-ish (as much as possible while covered in mud, soaking wet, physically spent) to the cargo nets. Oh my GAH! They loomed about 20+ feet up in the air- would this be our demise? My crew cheered me on, reassured me as I crossed the top and started back down. Whew!
The crowd was going wild! We were at the end. Our friends could see us and cheer us on, two obstacles to go, we can do it!
They ran- leaping over two walls of fire! One more...hands and knees, another mud crawl to the end. Right, left, right, left. My sidekick, my partner, BRENNA (making sure she sees her name) met me and we grabbed hands and crossed the finish.
That's where this story of the adventure ends. The handsome prince drove the warriors to their cars (in his undies) and everyone returned to their abodes.
So...you know when you shower after being at the beach and sand just falls out of your suit? Imagine that with mud, the longest shower can't help you feel clean and 9 hours later, you still itch.
You now worry about the feverish feeling- did I get a flesh eating bacteria? Is a cut infected? There is the sore butt, wrist and bruised knees and shins to keep as memories.
More than that- the fact that a 21 year old kid helped a group of middle-aged women through, the strangers who cheered, gave words of encouragement or a hand. The friends who made memories that won't ever go away. The knowledge that without our boot camp and sHELLey, sHELLey's BELLes wouldn't have made it. The idea that we did it, we didn't fail, we didn't skip a single obstacle. That's what today was about. Of course, as we slipped and slided down the forest slopes, one woman shouted, "This is not on the brochure." Thank you, strange lady. You titled my blog.
Friday, October 5, 2012
My Last will and Testament
Well, tomorrow is the Warrior Dash. If you don't know what it is, you can google it OR just assume it's a stupid run that includes a few rounds of Russian Roulette. Lets be honest, I trip over carpet in my bare feet. I run into doors and mirrors (at least then I'm polite enough to apologize). Yesterday I smashed my knuckle in a door. So, a 5K (difficult in itself) with obstacles that include fire, barbed wire, cargo nets, mud, and possibly contaminated water is like wrestling a tiger for raw steaks.
Therefore, I find it best to publish my last will and testament. Basically, I know my mother won't listen to my wishes.
I, Jocelyn Anne Osborne Schilling, of questionable mind (like, seriously- how sound can it be?) and amazing character attest to the following:
If I die as a result of the Warrior Dash please do the following:
1) cremate me and spread my ashes over the Jefferson Memorial pond in DC.
2) give me the best surprise funeral ever (since no one ever bothered to give me a surprise bday party).
3) please close the bottom half of my casket so my cankles do not show. sHELLey hasn't bothered to teach me ankle exercises for weight loss yet.
4) I want to be wearing something comfy- so don't dress me in something tight or fancy. Skip the make-up too, we all know I do daily!
5) for my sister, Savannah Z Osborne, I leave the following: the extra 55 pounds I want to lose, and my ass. It's the only chance she has to get one.
6) for Michael D Logan (AKA Rainman), I leave the Hoho and Tank. Don't bother giving him the cat- he'll get his purr removed.
7) for my workout BFF, Brenna Powell, I leave my exercise shorts. They might be too big for her, but she might wear them in memory of me.
8) for BOB, I leave my real sense of humor, Penn isn't successful without Teller. Oh- please cut off my ear and give it to him too- it'll save y'all from having to listen to him.
9) for Annette, I leave my famous trophy. She was my fellow 5K virgin and deserves the recognition.
10) for Stacy, I leave being Shelley's favorite- and a reminder to always park your car somewhere else if you want to surprise Shelley.
11) for KMo, I leave my underwear. She knows why.
12) for Allison, I leave my stomach. Please fill it regularly with homemade treats.
13) For Melanie, I leave Bob. As his neighbor, you have to keep him in line. :)
14) for Shelley, I leave my blog. Someone has to make sure we get on TLC. Please keep my picture in the gym at all times.
15) for Tracy, I leave all my Lucky Charms. No one loves them like we do. Also, I leave her in charge of keeping my memory alive. She was my first GCC inspiration.
16) the rest can go to my mom- use the money to put my kids through college, throw away my hoarding evidence, and please make my tshirts into a quilt!
17) for Misty D Michael, my BFF, I leave my cat. She will hate this, but it will make her remember me and she can throw it at Dra when he acts a fool (or think about it). Also- you can find a replacement for me for our Christmas Village date if I don't survive.
18) for my GCC Crew- I leave the appreciation of knowing its your fault I died. Why'd y'all let me do something so stupid?!?
Lastly- please make sure I have a black choir at my funeral. I need some of my soul to be represented. Serve cupcakes (no carrots) and mandarin orange Spark.
J
Therefore, I find it best to publish my last will and testament. Basically, I know my mother won't listen to my wishes.
I, Jocelyn Anne Osborne Schilling, of questionable mind (like, seriously- how sound can it be?) and amazing character attest to the following:
If I die as a result of the Warrior Dash please do the following:
1) cremate me and spread my ashes over the Jefferson Memorial pond in DC.
2) give me the best surprise funeral ever (since no one ever bothered to give me a surprise bday party).
3) please close the bottom half of my casket so my cankles do not show. sHELLey hasn't bothered to teach me ankle exercises for weight loss yet.
4) I want to be wearing something comfy- so don't dress me in something tight or fancy. Skip the make-up too, we all know I do daily!
5) for my sister, Savannah Z Osborne, I leave the following: the extra 55 pounds I want to lose, and my ass. It's the only chance she has to get one.
6) for Michael D Logan (AKA Rainman), I leave the Hoho and Tank. Don't bother giving him the cat- he'll get his purr removed.
7) for my workout BFF, Brenna Powell, I leave my exercise shorts. They might be too big for her, but she might wear them in memory of me.
8) for BOB, I leave my real sense of humor, Penn isn't successful without Teller. Oh- please cut off my ear and give it to him too- it'll save y'all from having to listen to him.
9) for Annette, I leave my famous trophy. She was my fellow 5K virgin and deserves the recognition.
10) for Stacy, I leave being Shelley's favorite- and a reminder to always park your car somewhere else if you want to surprise Shelley.
11) for KMo, I leave my underwear. She knows why.
12) for Allison, I leave my stomach. Please fill it regularly with homemade treats.
13) For Melanie, I leave Bob. As his neighbor, you have to keep him in line. :)
14) for Shelley, I leave my blog. Someone has to make sure we get on TLC. Please keep my picture in the gym at all times.
15) for Tracy, I leave all my Lucky Charms. No one loves them like we do. Also, I leave her in charge of keeping my memory alive. She was my first GCC inspiration.
16) the rest can go to my mom- use the money to put my kids through college, throw away my hoarding evidence, and please make my tshirts into a quilt!
17) for Misty D Michael, my BFF, I leave my cat. She will hate this, but it will make her remember me and she can throw it at Dra when he acts a fool (or think about it). Also- you can find a replacement for me for our Christmas Village date if I don't survive.
18) for my GCC Crew- I leave the appreciation of knowing its your fault I died. Why'd y'all let me do something so stupid?!?
Lastly- please make sure I have a black choir at my funeral. I need some of my soul to be represented. Serve cupcakes (no carrots) and mandarin orange Spark.
J
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Surviving a 5K
I learned a totally valuable lesson about running. Honestly, I learned a few. Sadly, I learned most of them the hard way. You see, I asked how to prepare for a run and all of my friends gave me their best advice on what to wear, to eat or not eat, pacing and chafing.
Apparently I asked the wrong questions. What I really needed to know was...how to live and survive after the run. Seriously? None of you thought to mention that?!?
So, here are a few tips for those who have never participated in a 5K (or love someone who hasn't and care enough to give the very best).
1. Do NOT make plans for the next 24-48 hours. For example, don't plan to watch football with your boyfriend and his mom later in the day. She might come to watch the game and you are PASSED OUT asleep in the middle of the day.
2. Get plenty of nutrition-and fast! This includes tip 1, don't make plans for dinner, have dreams of eating dinner or celebrating with friends. You might be PASSED OUT and miss a meal or five.
3. Don't plan to move. I'm not talking packing and getting a new house, I'm talking from point A to point B. Seriously. Squatting to sit on the toilet hurts, walking hurts, your back, arms, legs, abs and face hurt. I don't know why your face hurts, but it might be from grimacing as a result of the other pain.
4. Don't return to the gym. No pain, no gain? BS. I didn't have any gain and I had a boatload of pain!! Plus, I went to boot camp where did the Native American run (you might call it an Indian run, but I don't like Columbus, so I'll be PC). This is where people run in a line, and the last person tries to run to the front. I think. This really was the girl in front of me is shorter and her cute little arms only go to the top of her head...as she tried to pass a medicine ball to me. So, I'm trying not to run on her heels and get the ball. This created much laughter and additional pain. Frankly, our team left us. Oh- and the dumpsters had just been emptied which allowed me to perform my famous retching noise as I gagged.
5. Ibuprofen IV. My darling friend, Tracy, advised me to get plenty of fluids and ibuprofen (after the race ). Of course, if you'll remember tips 1 and 2 you know you're PASSED OUT and cant take it regularly. So just get an IV.
6. Don't do a 5K during college football season. Seriously, who wants to miss a whole day's worth of football? (besides an Auburn fan this year) tehe!
7. Finally, don't do a 5K without your friends. It's the only way to survive. They understand, make it more fun, and (if you're like me) wait for you at the finish line.
8. Make sure you ask your boyfriend for 5K flowers. Maybe he will be as awesome as mine and get you something even better... I got a trophy.
J
Apparently I asked the wrong questions. What I really needed to know was...how to live and survive after the run. Seriously? None of you thought to mention that?!?
So, here are a few tips for those who have never participated in a 5K (or love someone who hasn't and care enough to give the very best).
1. Do NOT make plans for the next 24-48 hours. For example, don't plan to watch football with your boyfriend and his mom later in the day. She might come to watch the game and you are PASSED OUT asleep in the middle of the day.
2. Get plenty of nutrition-and fast! This includes tip 1, don't make plans for dinner, have dreams of eating dinner or celebrating with friends. You might be PASSED OUT and miss a meal or five.
3. Don't plan to move. I'm not talking packing and getting a new house, I'm talking from point A to point B. Seriously. Squatting to sit on the toilet hurts, walking hurts, your back, arms, legs, abs and face hurt. I don't know why your face hurts, but it might be from grimacing as a result of the other pain.
4. Don't return to the gym. No pain, no gain? BS. I didn't have any gain and I had a boatload of pain!! Plus, I went to boot camp where did the Native American run (you might call it an Indian run, but I don't like Columbus, so I'll be PC). This is where people run in a line, and the last person tries to run to the front. I think. This really was the girl in front of me is shorter and her cute little arms only go to the top of her head...as she tried to pass a medicine ball to me. So, I'm trying not to run on her heels and get the ball. This created much laughter and additional pain. Frankly, our team left us. Oh- and the dumpsters had just been emptied which allowed me to perform my famous retching noise as I gagged.
5. Ibuprofen IV. My darling friend, Tracy, advised me to get plenty of fluids and ibuprofen (after the race ). Of course, if you'll remember tips 1 and 2 you know you're PASSED OUT and cant take it regularly. So just get an IV.
6. Don't do a 5K during college football season. Seriously, who wants to miss a whole day's worth of football? (besides an Auburn fan this year) tehe!
7. Finally, don't do a 5K without your friends. It's the only way to survive. They understand, make it more fun, and (if you're like me) wait for you at the finish line.
8. Make sure you ask your boyfriend for 5K flowers. Maybe he will be as awesome as mine and get you something even better... I got a trophy.
J
Saturday, September 8, 2012
The 5K
As most of you know, today was my first 5K. What you may not know is why I'm so passionate about childhood cancer- and that's an important part of this story. I promise to talk about the run, but the important stuff comes first.
When I started teaching at Chalkville, I met the most amazing person. Ginger Dyer is kind, beautiful (inside and out) and God-loving. She and her husband had multiple miscarriages, but finally were blessed with a baby girl in November of 2006. Meredith Grace. The following summer, Mere was diagnosed with Neuroblastoma. I remember the binder of information the Dyers received from the doctor and the pain on their faces. They struggled so much with hospitalization, doctor visits and the unknown.
Childhood cancer is evil. It is Hilter and Osama bin Ladin making a baby and sending it in a category 1,000,000,000 hurricane. Each day 46 children are diagnosed and 7 more die.
Meredith had a (comparatively) short battle. God blessed them with a quicker healing. The fight, however, is never over. They have the ongoing fear of reoccurrence, tests, and they watch the battles continue for those they came to love and know.
I was so touched by this. I began following other children on caringbridge.com, I got a childhood cancer ribbon tattooed on my wrist. I tried to find small ways to make a difference. I've met kids and families that have changed me forever. I met Tucker Beam. Tuck was the cutest little boy- he loved sports (especially Alabama football!). I remember the day he died and I remember the line at his visitation- covering an entire High school gym, out the door, through the school...I remember Tuck every single day. I met Taylor Hendrix. She's a bad mamba jamba- high school senior, six reoccurrences, and just had her lung removed. Yet every Christmas she does stockings for the kids at Children's so they will have something at the hospital while fighting cancer. Then there is Kristen. Kristen Dreyer is my sister's best friend from college. Her battle is almost a decade old. She has been to every major hospital in the US (almost) and sought treatment in Europe. She has had organs removed, been away from family for months. He's constantly sick and tired- literally. Kristen is always positive and keeps the dark spots of her battle to private moments. She's such a champ.
Truth is- if my full-time job could be to fight childhood cancer- i'd do it in a heartbeat. It's my dream. Funding for childhood cancer is pennies compared to other cancers- and where does it all start?!
So I get the chance to run today. We all know I can't run three miles. But it's an hour of my day. Will it hurt? Yes. Be tiring? Yes. Scary? Yes. For an hour. Not for a year- like Mere. Eternity like Tuck's family. Six years like Taylor or a decade like Kristen. One freaking hour.
So the fun part :) We get there and have to walk two blocks. Really? Shuttle bus? I tell everyone that if I go missing- I'll be at Dreamcakes! I prep by eating a granola bar and drinking some Spark. We take pictures. My sweet sister comes with a sign to cheer me on.
On your mark, get set, go! Well, it didn't really happen like that- but I ran. Then I walked. Then I ran. I made deals with myself- you will run to ------- and then you can walk. I ran every downhill. I looked at every picture along the way of the kids I was supporting. I thought about "my" cancer kids. People sat on porches and cheered us on. I ran. I walked. I felt horrible for throwing my water cups down. Of course, my gum FLIES out of my mouth at about a quarter of a mile in. Ugh. My fingers swelled. I saw Dreamcakes, they were closed ;)
Finally, I'm falling up this hill. It felt like Mt. Rushmore. I see a sign telling me that...well, I saw the sign. Time to get my eyes checked because I couldn't read the distance. Finally, I got close enough and It said 2.5 miles. I had less than one mile to go!! I knew I could do it.
Then- my IPod changed songs. Jeremy Camp's "I Still Believe" started playing. Tears welled in my eyes and goosebumps covered my arms. That song was written about his sweet wife, Melissa. She, too, lost her battle with cancer. I was like, "Okay, God. I gotcha." I started running. Then I walked for a bit and saw the end. It was crowded and had a red light with times. I took off running. I saw my sister, and Annette and Brenna.
I did it. I finished a 5K. My chipped time says 48:50. I didn't finish last. I was best by some walkers, a guy with one leg, and probably a nursing home...but I wasn't last.
I crossed the finish line and saw Meredith and Ginger. Then I cried.
I'll be sore tomorrow, but I'm proud of myself. Today I showed an ounce of the strength that my friends with cancer show every minute. I set a goal and met it.
Today was for you, Mere. It was for Tuck- but he got to root me on the whole time from his seat above. It was for my hero, Taylor. It was for the sunshine of Kristen. It was for every child diagnosed with cancer. It was for every adult fighting cancer. It was for hope.
When I started teaching at Chalkville, I met the most amazing person. Ginger Dyer is kind, beautiful (inside and out) and God-loving. She and her husband had multiple miscarriages, but finally were blessed with a baby girl in November of 2006. Meredith Grace. The following summer, Mere was diagnosed with Neuroblastoma. I remember the binder of information the Dyers received from the doctor and the pain on their faces. They struggled so much with hospitalization, doctor visits and the unknown.
Childhood cancer is evil. It is Hilter and Osama bin Ladin making a baby and sending it in a category 1,000,000,000 hurricane. Each day 46 children are diagnosed and 7 more die.
Meredith had a (comparatively) short battle. God blessed them with a quicker healing. The fight, however, is never over. They have the ongoing fear of reoccurrence, tests, and they watch the battles continue for those they came to love and know.
I was so touched by this. I began following other children on caringbridge.com, I got a childhood cancer ribbon tattooed on my wrist. I tried to find small ways to make a difference. I've met kids and families that have changed me forever. I met Tucker Beam. Tuck was the cutest little boy- he loved sports (especially Alabama football!). I remember the day he died and I remember the line at his visitation- covering an entire High school gym, out the door, through the school...I remember Tuck every single day. I met Taylor Hendrix. She's a bad mamba jamba- high school senior, six reoccurrences, and just had her lung removed. Yet every Christmas she does stockings for the kids at Children's so they will have something at the hospital while fighting cancer. Then there is Kristen. Kristen Dreyer is my sister's best friend from college. Her battle is almost a decade old. She has been to every major hospital in the US (almost) and sought treatment in Europe. She has had organs removed, been away from family for months. He's constantly sick and tired- literally. Kristen is always positive and keeps the dark spots of her battle to private moments. She's such a champ.
Truth is- if my full-time job could be to fight childhood cancer- i'd do it in a heartbeat. It's my dream. Funding for childhood cancer is pennies compared to other cancers- and where does it all start?!
So I get the chance to run today. We all know I can't run three miles. But it's an hour of my day. Will it hurt? Yes. Be tiring? Yes. Scary? Yes. For an hour. Not for a year- like Mere. Eternity like Tuck's family. Six years like Taylor or a decade like Kristen. One freaking hour.
So the fun part :) We get there and have to walk two blocks. Really? Shuttle bus? I tell everyone that if I go missing- I'll be at Dreamcakes! I prep by eating a granola bar and drinking some Spark. We take pictures. My sweet sister comes with a sign to cheer me on.
On your mark, get set, go! Well, it didn't really happen like that- but I ran. Then I walked. Then I ran. I made deals with myself- you will run to ------- and then you can walk. I ran every downhill. I looked at every picture along the way of the kids I was supporting. I thought about "my" cancer kids. People sat on porches and cheered us on. I ran. I walked. I felt horrible for throwing my water cups down. Of course, my gum FLIES out of my mouth at about a quarter of a mile in. Ugh. My fingers swelled. I saw Dreamcakes, they were closed ;)
Finally, I'm falling up this hill. It felt like Mt. Rushmore. I see a sign telling me that...well, I saw the sign. Time to get my eyes checked because I couldn't read the distance. Finally, I got close enough and It said 2.5 miles. I had less than one mile to go!! I knew I could do it.
Then- my IPod changed songs. Jeremy Camp's "I Still Believe" started playing. Tears welled in my eyes and goosebumps covered my arms. That song was written about his sweet wife, Melissa. She, too, lost her battle with cancer. I was like, "Okay, God. I gotcha." I started running. Then I walked for a bit and saw the end. It was crowded and had a red light with times. I took off running. I saw my sister, and Annette and Brenna.
I did it. I finished a 5K. My chipped time says 48:50. I didn't finish last. I was best by some walkers, a guy with one leg, and probably a nursing home...but I wasn't last.
I crossed the finish line and saw Meredith and Ginger. Then I cried.
I'll be sore tomorrow, but I'm proud of myself. Today I showed an ounce of the strength that my friends with cancer show every minute. I set a goal and met it.
Today was for you, Mere. It was for Tuck- but he got to root me on the whole time from his seat above. It was for my hero, Taylor. It was for the sunshine of Kristen. It was for every child diagnosed with cancer. It was for every adult fighting cancer. It was for hope.
Thursday, September 6, 2012
Johnny Got His Gun
Let me be clear...this is my mind thinking aloud. It is not in an effort for all of you (Mom and Shelley) to reassure me or anything. I'm "venting".
I'm still really struggling with body image. Yes, I've lost 45 pounds, but I don't see the changes in my body. In fact, I now have one of those gross juicy veins popping out on my leg. I see that change :) Sure my clothes fit differently- in fact, my most favorite shoes (sparkly Tom wedges) are too big now. Some pictures show me a different me, the scale shows a different me and my time at the gym shows a different me. The mirror doesn't.
That is probably the most frustrating part of all of this. I know I'm thinner. I know I feel better working out. I just want to see what others see. I've had numerous people compliment me lately about how I look. That feels great. I'm LESS self-conscious in shorts at the gym. It helps. Someday I will look in the mirror and see in a new me...
In the meantime, I've made some accomplishments and set some goals. I'm thinking putting them in writing will help.
Goals:
- Weight loss (original 50 lbs by Dec, now 100 total)
- Become a runner
- Run a 5K, build to a half marathon
- Fit into Nike workout shorts
- Be able to shop in the regular sizes
- Wear shorts by summer of 2013 for everyday life
- Learn to not "punch like a girl" in combat
Accomplishments:
- Can touch my elbow to knee during crunches
- Run a mile without walking or stopping
- cut 3.5 minutes off my mile time in 5 months
- Can jump rope a little
- Have lost 45 pounds in 5 months
- Went from a size 22-24W to 18W
- Bought a pair of shorts in the normal people section
- Can do almost 50 push-ups
- Exercise = toning to avoid extra jiggle
I need to keep these in mind. It will help me stay focused and motivated. Well, honestly- 5 am is now more about my social life. We have so much fun together!!! Everyone is "the crew" is welcoming to each other and so supportive.
Okay, so this title is dedicated to Mrs. Glenda Cornstuble. She was the best English teacher EVER and expanded my love of reading. This book was my favorite book from American Experience and was written in stream of consciousness...kind of how I feel the blog was written today.
I'm still really struggling with body image. Yes, I've lost 45 pounds, but I don't see the changes in my body. In fact, I now have one of those gross juicy veins popping out on my leg. I see that change :) Sure my clothes fit differently- in fact, my most favorite shoes (sparkly Tom wedges) are too big now. Some pictures show me a different me, the scale shows a different me and my time at the gym shows a different me. The mirror doesn't.
That is probably the most frustrating part of all of this. I know I'm thinner. I know I feel better working out. I just want to see what others see. I've had numerous people compliment me lately about how I look. That feels great. I'm LESS self-conscious in shorts at the gym. It helps. Someday I will look in the mirror and see in a new me...
In the meantime, I've made some accomplishments and set some goals. I'm thinking putting them in writing will help.
Goals:
- Weight loss (original 50 lbs by Dec, now 100 total)
- Become a runner
- Run a 5K, build to a half marathon
- Fit into Nike workout shorts
- Be able to shop in the regular sizes
- Wear shorts by summer of 2013 for everyday life
- Learn to not "punch like a girl" in combat
Accomplishments:
- Can touch my elbow to knee during crunches
- Run a mile without walking or stopping
- cut 3.5 minutes off my mile time in 5 months
- Can jump rope a little
- Have lost 45 pounds in 5 months
- Went from a size 22-24W to 18W
- Bought a pair of shorts in the normal people section
- Can do almost 50 push-ups
- Exercise = toning to avoid extra jiggle
I need to keep these in mind. It will help me stay focused and motivated. Well, honestly- 5 am is now more about my social life. We have so much fun together!!! Everyone is "the crew" is welcoming to each other and so supportive.
Okay, so this title is dedicated to Mrs. Glenda Cornstuble. She was the best English teacher EVER and expanded my love of reading. This book was my favorite book from American Experience and was written in stream of consciousness...kind of how I feel the blog was written today.
Friday, August 31, 2012
The Final Challenge
This morning was the final challenge of this month's boot camp...so I've completed my 5th cycle.
Anyway, Shelley drags us outside and announces that you must partner up with someone of the opposite fitness level of you. Woohoo! These are the days that make-up for every fat kid picked last for dodgeball. Speaking of, I wonder if she'll let us play one day?! Anyway, fat and slow people are hard to find in boot camp and this one was snatched up first! By. Freedom.
Let me paint this scene for you- you know the movie Twins with Schwartzenagger and DeVito? Beauty and the Beast? Pinky and the Brain? Michael Jackson and Brooke Shields? Yep. Freedom- athletic, cheerleading coach, fast runner, hot husband. Jocelyn- slightly obese, fast food dining coach, fast reader, no husband.
So- we have to do an exercise 10 times and then run a lap. Here's the catch- if one of us (let's just say, Freedom) happens to finish first, she has to start the next exercise and keep going until I finish. Then we do 20 of a different exercise (or until the slower person, hypothetically, me) does 20, and run. Then 30, 40, 50. You get it? If you get to 100, you work your way back.
I'm exhausted from returning to workouts, I've got this hip thing going on, and I am DYING! My amazing partner, however, puts her cheerleading skills to work and encourages me nearly every step of the way. She could've lapped me a bagillion times (like everyone else), but she didn't.
We made it to 80 basketball jumps and it was almost time to go. I was certain we weren't going to have to run the last lap. Ha! I was wrong. Annette helped me while Shelley tried to encourage longer steps.
I lived AND I got Freedom to do the chapstick and the pony and the cheer. So it was worth it. Of course, watching BOB get his butt chewed and not know it (thanks to earphones) was great too. But the best part might have been discovering that Shelley is simply a human water fountain.
This boot camp was fun because it brought new friends, a new haircut, time to see my pal Kristen, and the crew was in the house. It also brought an after picture that makes me look skinny!
Our next boot camp starts on Tuesday. I hope it brings lots of fun, Red Rover and dodgeball.
The End.
Anyway, Shelley drags us outside and announces that you must partner up with someone of the opposite fitness level of you. Woohoo! These are the days that make-up for every fat kid picked last for dodgeball. Speaking of, I wonder if she'll let us play one day?! Anyway, fat and slow people are hard to find in boot camp and this one was snatched up first! By. Freedom.
Let me paint this scene for you- you know the movie Twins with Schwartzenagger and DeVito? Beauty and the Beast? Pinky and the Brain? Michael Jackson and Brooke Shields? Yep. Freedom- athletic, cheerleading coach, fast runner, hot husband. Jocelyn- slightly obese, fast food dining coach, fast reader, no husband.
So- we have to do an exercise 10 times and then run a lap. Here's the catch- if one of us (let's just say, Freedom) happens to finish first, she has to start the next exercise and keep going until I finish. Then we do 20 of a different exercise (or until the slower person, hypothetically, me) does 20, and run. Then 30, 40, 50. You get it? If you get to 100, you work your way back.
I'm exhausted from returning to workouts, I've got this hip thing going on, and I am DYING! My amazing partner, however, puts her cheerleading skills to work and encourages me nearly every step of the way. She could've lapped me a bagillion times (like everyone else), but she didn't.
We made it to 80 basketball jumps and it was almost time to go. I was certain we weren't going to have to run the last lap. Ha! I was wrong. Annette helped me while Shelley tried to encourage longer steps.
I lived AND I got Freedom to do the chapstick and the pony and the cheer. So it was worth it. Of course, watching BOB get his butt chewed and not know it (thanks to earphones) was great too. But the best part might have been discovering that Shelley is simply a human water fountain.
This boot camp was fun because it brought new friends, a new haircut, time to see my pal Kristen, and the crew was in the house. It also brought an after picture that makes me look skinny!
Our next boot camp starts on Tuesday. I hope it brings lots of fun, Red Rover and dodgeball.
The End.
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