So, today was the Warrior Dash. Let me be clear- no blog, no pictures, no stories or bruises can do it justice. This is one bad mamba jamba.
I'm going to try to tell y'all all about it, but I might get tired and have to do stages or something. Ugh.
A. Doing the Warrior Dash was so not my idea. Although we can't find the original source of peer pressurers, we're pretty sure their names are Catol and Rachel.
B. we had great plans of training for this event. We were going to the rock climbing place, lose weight, run... Ha! However, we learned that sHELLey is the best training.
Once upon a time there were four girls and one husband who decided to do a really insane 5K. They met a handsome prince (ok, he drove us there) who happened upon the opportunity for some "fun" at the last minute. The fire shot, they jumped around and then they heard "Go!" They started jogging through a real pasture with animal patties and holes.
The first came across a barrier that they had to crawl under and climb over. They crawled under barbed wire and smashed their thighs on the wood walls...
Much like Hansel and Gretel, they ventured into a scary forest. The handsome prince (trust me, he deserves much better for all he did) led the crew down a steep path in the forest. It was slippery and someone (me) wiped out immediately. Fortunately, there were no broken bones and they were able to continue to the rope climb. Each member had to tug a rope as they climbed to the top of the steep valley.
After a few more paces, they came to this crossing that required them to crawl up some wood and cross (up and down) the land.
Then they saw the fun! It was an "easy" obstacle. All they had to do was walk into some mud, climb a wee hill and slide back down. This girl was excited! Oops! Mud is slippery and it was hard to climb. To the tip top I got, woosh! Back to the bottom, I fell. Not once, not twice, but three times! Sadly, the third time included knocking down a person behind me. The prince could be heard shouting and giggling, "This is fun!"
They traipsed through the forest, down the valley and back up. Tears came with the rain. This girl was ready to quit. The crew stepped in, holding my hand, talking me out of hyperventilation and down the next valley. Some slid down on their butts, others went through the brush- getting caught by thorny bushes. Through a trap of lines, a mud tunnel on our hands and knees, more mud, another wipeout, and a tight rope bridge.
Am I forgetting stuff? Probably. The crew stayed together- faced the mud, the falls and the challenges. Soon, a deep pond could be seen. I could hear the Turtleman's cry-"Live Action" as I splashed into the murky water, feeling the tangle of pond plants. We had to team up- the Prince pulling our arms and strangers pushing our feet as we climbed on the barrier in the middle. On the other side, we had to plunge back into the freezing water, swallowing and choking on pond muck, swimming to the other side.
What is that? Music? The end is in sound. They crawled under the military barbed wire, raced-ish (as much as possible while covered in mud, soaking wet, physically spent) to the cargo nets. Oh my GAH! They loomed about 20+ feet up in the air- would this be our demise? My crew cheered me on, reassured me as I crossed the top and started back down. Whew!
The crowd was going wild! We were at the end. Our friends could see us and cheer us on, two obstacles to go, we can do it!
They ran- leaping over two walls of fire! One more...hands and knees, another mud crawl to the end. Right, left, right, left. My sidekick, my partner, BRENNA (making sure she sees her name) met me and we grabbed hands and crossed the finish.
That's where this story of the adventure ends. The handsome prince drove the warriors to their cars (in his undies) and everyone returned to their abodes.
So...you know when you shower after being at the beach and sand just falls out of your suit? Imagine that with mud, the longest shower can't help you feel clean and 9 hours later, you still itch.
You now worry about the feverish feeling- did I get a flesh eating bacteria? Is a cut infected? There is the sore butt, wrist and bruised knees and shins to keep as memories.
More than that- the fact that a 21 year old kid helped a group of middle-aged women through, the strangers who cheered, gave words of encouragement or a hand. The friends who made memories that won't ever go away. The knowledge that without our boot camp and sHELLey, sHELLey's BELLes wouldn't have made it. The idea that we did it, we didn't fail, we didn't skip a single obstacle. That's what today was about. Of course, as we slipped and slided down the forest slopes, one woman shouted, "This is not on the brochure." Thank you, strange lady. You titled my blog.
No comments:
Post a Comment