New year, new you...right? I'm pretty sure that's the secret motto of sHELLey. At least that's how it felt with the return of Bodyshock Boot Camp last week.
We started out last Tuesday with the beep test, or the bleep test as we call it here. You know, race the beeps to get to the next line. My goal was to break 20, but I didn't get there. I could offer excuses about being sick in December and not running for a month and a half, but we all know what excuses are like. The champion of the day was Jeff (AKA Bob)- he set his goal of 100 beeps and did it!!! That's a whole lot of running. I'm pretty proud of him, but DO NOT tell him. Poor guy won't make it through the gym doors if he hears.
So then we get divided into groups of 3, which was perfect since my gym BFF was out of town. Of course, sHELLey always messes with a perfect plan. She started rearranging groups and put me with two new girls. Y'all know I want to welcome everyone, but this made me feel weird. I can do it from a distance. What?! Yep. Then she wanted us to introduce ourselves, our goals, why we were there. Ugh. Even more intimacy with strangers. Fortunately, I got placed with Amy and Krystal. They both have lost a good bit of weight and have some to go. Yea! Other people like me. (PS. Amy was really nice even though I called her LeAnne for an hour)
I wish I could remember what all we did, but I only remember the dreaded crab walk and suicides. Now, if you haven't crab walked in a few years, please try. It's hard. It's even harder if you have fat arms that don't want to stretch that way, and fat rolls that dont go smoothly behind your back. My triceps were screaming and I was pretty close to death. Ooh we got a break...to run our @sses off. Suicides, maybe some relays, I just remember wanting to be DONE! I also remember an intimate bread crawling moment, but that isn't for blog info. :)
Of course, Friday wasn't much better. We did more fitness tests and lots of exercises. LOTS. However, Friday was really special. We had a packed house and it was like a puzzle...everything just fit so perfectly. The highlight of the day was when "Autumn" (that's not her real name, she's not in the witness protection program, she's Vietnamese and that's her American name) yelled "I can't!" It caused the silence heard round the world. If you know sHELLey you know that "I can't" is not allowed.
The other amazing part came at the end...we were doing the Keith Lankford "invisible chair" (wall squats) and basically, we had to be a team. If ANYONE broke, time was added. It was so amazing to see all of these different adults- fat, thin, tall, short, male, female, young and old support and cheer each other on. We did it!!
Then, because sHELLey thinks she's Jillian and we're at the Biggest Loser ranch, someone got voted off the island. Maybe not that part, but I guess we will see tomorrow morning :) Stay tuned.
Monday, January 14, 2013
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
Go With the Flow
So, I've decided to add Body Flow (kind of like yoga or something) to my routine. Sure- it doesn't burn a bajillion calories, but it would be nice to be able to bend, touch my arms behind my back, and well... I do want to make a baby this year. Ha!
As you might remember, I've tried it once. It was a safe environment, a room full of friends, 5 am so every was half asleep and most of us were virgins. It was okay to mess up, giggle or be silly.
Not tonight my friends, not tonight. I walk in the room with only 2 accomplices. Everyone else had their mats all perfectly displayed. They were sitting in a trance Native American style and were quiet. Ummmm BORING? I went ahead and apologized to the stranger behind me for what was going to be a show that only Chris Farley could top. She lied and said she was bad at it too.
Here's the thing that I realized is a major issue in flow: you need to know your left from your right. It's a little awkward to have to make an L with your hand to see which leg to put behind your head. Here's issue number two: Flow is basically a trip to the gynecologist. Seriously. The only difference is the gynecologist lets you keep your socks on (okay and has stirrups to keep your legs up). I wish I could tell you the technical terms of these exercises, but we'll just call them "Go 'Head and Spread 'Em". My legs were spread in 60 minutes than mayonnaise on sandwiches at a family picnic.
I'm going to confess to have more issues. I mean, my bare feet were on the for. Sometimes there is hair on the floor. I worried about that. I worried that everyone was watching me try to get my balance for the 99th time. I worried that I would fall flat on my face and break my huge nose (worried/hoped, same thing).
I was sweating like something horrible. These flow folks do not turn the fans on. My shoulders ached and I considered having them removed (but then I'd be eating fries with my feet...). Finally came the "meditation". In the tanning bed we would call it a nap. I enjoyed it for 60 seconds. Then I decided I better buy my own mat. Would I look funny carrying in Clorox wipes to clean the mat each class? Wait?! Is there a hair touching me? I got a little grossed out and my crazy mind began to wander.
Then it was over. Truthfully, I would never be a good instructor at this. It's so quiet and serious and let me say that Kelsey rocked it. She was super instructional and was giving options a lot (thank goodness). I think it's a challenge. Ive got to conquer this. I must be able to put one leg through without looking like a toddler trying to stand for the first time. I want to BE a cobra.
Oh...and I wouldn't mind being a little more flexible.
As you might remember, I've tried it once. It was a safe environment, a room full of friends, 5 am so every was half asleep and most of us were virgins. It was okay to mess up, giggle or be silly.
Not tonight my friends, not tonight. I walk in the room with only 2 accomplices. Everyone else had their mats all perfectly displayed. They were sitting in a trance Native American style and were quiet. Ummmm BORING? I went ahead and apologized to the stranger behind me for what was going to be a show that only Chris Farley could top. She lied and said she was bad at it too.
Here's the thing that I realized is a major issue in flow: you need to know your left from your right. It's a little awkward to have to make an L with your hand to see which leg to put behind your head. Here's issue number two: Flow is basically a trip to the gynecologist. Seriously. The only difference is the gynecologist lets you keep your socks on (okay and has stirrups to keep your legs up). I wish I could tell you the technical terms of these exercises, but we'll just call them "Go 'Head and Spread 'Em". My legs were spread in 60 minutes than mayonnaise on sandwiches at a family picnic.
I'm going to confess to have more issues. I mean, my bare feet were on the for. Sometimes there is hair on the floor. I worried about that. I worried that everyone was watching me try to get my balance for the 99th time. I worried that I would fall flat on my face and break my huge nose (worried/hoped, same thing).
I was sweating like something horrible. These flow folks do not turn the fans on. My shoulders ached and I considered having them removed (but then I'd be eating fries with my feet...). Finally came the "meditation". In the tanning bed we would call it a nap. I enjoyed it for 60 seconds. Then I decided I better buy my own mat. Would I look funny carrying in Clorox wipes to clean the mat each class? Wait?! Is there a hair touching me? I got a little grossed out and my crazy mind began to wander.
Then it was over. Truthfully, I would never be a good instructor at this. It's so quiet and serious and let me say that Kelsey rocked it. She was super instructional and was giving options a lot (thank goodness). I think it's a challenge. Ive got to conquer this. I must be able to put one leg through without looking like a toddler trying to stand for the first time. I want to BE a cobra.
Oh...and I wouldn't mind being a little more flexible.
Friday, January 4, 2013
There's no A in "team"
Soooo... 2013 is here. You might remember I have some goals: get engaged, knocked up, lose some weight (I get that there's an oxymoron there, but I have Shelley-so it's possible). After having the flu in December, it was time to get back to the gym.
One time I was at Johnny Rockets, and the lady at the booth behind us was eating her French fries with her toes. I don't remember exactly why, but I'm guessing she didn't have hands or something. Here's the thing, if I was that lady- I'd lose a ton of weight this week. I couldn't use my legs to eat because they're killing me! Fine, we all know my fat rolls would block my legs from reaching my mouth...just, don't ruin my story.
I attended the GCC's first class of 2013-Body Pump at 5 am on Wednesday. I honestly considered camping out the night before just to be sure I got a spot. Apparently a bunch of people start working out in January for their resolutions. Heck- how would I know? I've been in the fitness protection program for years!! Oh my gah! I wish I could tell you which part of my body hurt the worst,but it was everything! My legs, knees, chest, shoulders. If I could fit on a stretcher, I might have called for an ambulance. At one point, I thought my left calf muscle was going to rip off my leg. We also weighed in after class and I weighed 222.6 (accountability).
As everyone knows, the best way to work off exercise pain is to exercise. Really?! That sounds like a beer commercial suggesting more alcohol helps a hangover. So, I went back to the gym at 5 am on Thursday for Body Attack. Ha! If no one would've noticed, I considered going out and sitting on the bench. I was so tired!!! Plus, now that people actually read this blog, I can't make fun of things that happen. Okay, I will anyway. There was this fit girl who kept like racing me during the running track. I mean, seriously. Racing me? I was beat in my first 5k by a dude with one leg. I'm slow. Oh yea- and my body still hurt: knees, hip, shoulders, chest, head, shoulders, knees and toes. Anyway, I just let her win. Trying to be the bigger person and all.
Third time is a charm... so I went back again today. My first boot camp in over a month. I asked Shelley if it was going to be hard and she said, "If I made you go up the stairs 3 times, you'd think it was hard." (Uh duh!). Well, it was hard. I had to go up the stairs FIVE times. I taught fifth grade math and can confirm that's more than three! First, we had to go run a mile. Truthfully, they ran a mile. I walked. Then I got brave and decided to try and run. A certain butthead came up behind me and hollered, nearly risking the ambulance need again. Ugh.
Of course, what's a good boot camp without a basket of tennis balls? Divide into teams (assigned because the teacher knows the talkers...), do exercises for four minutes, back up the stairs for a lap, more exercises until everyone is back from their lap, draw more balls, repeat.
Here's the thing- our last exercises were tricep dips and the crab walk. I. Cannot. Crab walk. The back of my arms have this fat that blocks smooth movement and I was dying. I'm sure it had nothing to do with the fact that I hadn't been to BC in a month. So, the 4 minutes ends and it's time to run. Shelley tells me that I better hurry or the others will have to work harder while waiting in me.
I told her, "I don't care. There's no A in team." Ummm...
Well, I survived. I'm hoping next week is better for my body.
One time I was at Johnny Rockets, and the lady at the booth behind us was eating her French fries with her toes. I don't remember exactly why, but I'm guessing she didn't have hands or something. Here's the thing, if I was that lady- I'd lose a ton of weight this week. I couldn't use my legs to eat because they're killing me! Fine, we all know my fat rolls would block my legs from reaching my mouth...just, don't ruin my story.
I attended the GCC's first class of 2013-Body Pump at 5 am on Wednesday. I honestly considered camping out the night before just to be sure I got a spot. Apparently a bunch of people start working out in January for their resolutions. Heck- how would I know? I've been in the fitness protection program for years!! Oh my gah! I wish I could tell you which part of my body hurt the worst,but it was everything! My legs, knees, chest, shoulders. If I could fit on a stretcher, I might have called for an ambulance. At one point, I thought my left calf muscle was going to rip off my leg. We also weighed in after class and I weighed 222.6 (accountability).
As everyone knows, the best way to work off exercise pain is to exercise. Really?! That sounds like a beer commercial suggesting more alcohol helps a hangover. So, I went back to the gym at 5 am on Thursday for Body Attack. Ha! If no one would've noticed, I considered going out and sitting on the bench. I was so tired!!! Plus, now that people actually read this blog, I can't make fun of things that happen. Okay, I will anyway. There was this fit girl who kept like racing me during the running track. I mean, seriously. Racing me? I was beat in my first 5k by a dude with one leg. I'm slow. Oh yea- and my body still hurt: knees, hip, shoulders, chest, head, shoulders, knees and toes. Anyway, I just let her win. Trying to be the bigger person and all.
Third time is a charm... so I went back again today. My first boot camp in over a month. I asked Shelley if it was going to be hard and she said, "If I made you go up the stairs 3 times, you'd think it was hard." (Uh duh!). Well, it was hard. I had to go up the stairs FIVE times. I taught fifth grade math and can confirm that's more than three! First, we had to go run a mile. Truthfully, they ran a mile. I walked. Then I got brave and decided to try and run. A certain butthead came up behind me and hollered, nearly risking the ambulance need again. Ugh.
Of course, what's a good boot camp without a basket of tennis balls? Divide into teams (assigned because the teacher knows the talkers...), do exercises for four minutes, back up the stairs for a lap, more exercises until everyone is back from their lap, draw more balls, repeat.
Here's the thing- our last exercises were tricep dips and the crab walk. I. Cannot. Crab walk. The back of my arms have this fat that blocks smooth movement and I was dying. I'm sure it had nothing to do with the fact that I hadn't been to BC in a month. So, the 4 minutes ends and it's time to run. Shelley tells me that I better hurry or the others will have to work harder while waiting in me.
I told her, "I don't care. There's no A in team." Ummm...
Well, I survived. I'm hoping next week is better for my body.
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