Just give me a reason...

Wow, how a year changes everything. One year ago, I had no earthly clue which direction my life was heading. 35 (on the eve of 36), unmarried, no children, and just beginning to start whipping my body into shape. My family was really hitting the skids. Rainman and I were trying to figure out if "we" were right. I wasn't happy with life. 

Now, I'm not talking miserable unhappy or suicide unhappy- just blah. I started to realize that a career isn't your life. That was an interesting pill to swallow. It was just me and Tank- and growing old was scary. I wasn't putting any effort into my relationship and the Rainman wasn't either. 

Just give me a reason, just a little bit's enough

Just a second we're not broken just bent

And we can learn to love again...

Man! I love Pink! This song hits me EVERY single time I hear it. This song was me. It was us. We had to get over a hurdle of laziness and apathy to make our relationship work. 

It's in the stars

It's been written in the scars on our hearts

I wish I could describe the change for us. We reconnected- focused on talking TO each other, spending time together (and not just in the same room). We changed our talk from mine and his to "ours". 

There's more than empty sheets between our love

Our love, our love

We decided in October that 2013 would be our year for a baby. Obviously, we thought it would take a while. WE started talking marriage and engagement. It wasn't just me talking anymore. We knew we'd be engaged by June of 2013. 

In February of 2013, two amazing things happened. First, we found a church that we both love. Then, we found out a baby was coming!!! 

Let me be clear- we were SHOCKED. Without being graphic, we'd only been trying for less than a month and we only see each other on the weekends. It was the best surprise. Ever. 

I never dreamed that I'd be a mom. Well, I dreamed it- but it's the same kind of dream as winning the lottery or marrying Adam Levine. I just didn't think it would ever happen. 

Tonight- as I sit on the eve of birthday #37, I'm so blessed. More than words, picture, song or dance. My life is so near perfection. Im engaged, WE are getting married on July 6 and Baby Logan will arrive in just 5 months!! 

I now have an inkling of what's to come- feelings I never imagined are filling my heart and mind. Rainman and I are enjoying this journey together- with the support of our families. My life has done a complete 180. 

I have so many wishes for this next year- a healthy baby, a happy marriage- the continued peace in my family and well-being of loved ones. 

Somewhere is the saying about waking up and only having what you thanked God for the night before. I try to remember that when my head hits the pillow each night. I know it won't be easy...I've never been a mom before, both Rainman and I are used to living alone and being independent. We've never shared such a responsibility and we'll be doing it in our first year of marriage. 

I know we can do it. I know it. I have faith that THIS is the blessing I've waited 37 years for. We have the most amazing prayer warriors on our side, and we have God on our side.

I can't wait to reflect one year from tonight. Will my heart manage to be any fuller? Will my joy and thankfulness make me explode? I'm eager to see. 

The best birthday gift ANYONE can give me- is the gift of prayer. Prayer for a healthy baby, prayer blessings over my marriage and my family. 

I let you see the parts of me that weren't all that pretty

And with every touch you fixed them...