Bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

Sadly, the title of this blog has been censored by the FCC.

I went on vacation. I went away for one whole week of rest, relaxation, white sandy beaches and crashing waves. Okay, so really I traveled with the Rainman and 17 (yes, 17) family members. I'd love to tell you all about it, but it will have to wait. You see, I returned to the gym this morning.

Let's be clear. I missed ONE day of pre-vacation pump due to a bladder infection from the land down under (and I don't mean Australia). I missed ONE day of post-vacation Pump because I took Benadryl at 12:30 AM to prevent death by choking on my swollen tongue. The way my darling sHELLey acted, I'd been laying (lying?) in bed for weeks, snoozing the alarm and saying, "to hell with working out."

Truth is, I think she was trying to make me mad- and it was working. Between the snide texts I received and her pre-boot camp comments, I was in full pissed off mode before we even started. She was earning every curse word I'd ever said.

So- what's my lovely welcome back greeting? A darn (see? I'm trying to clean it up) timed mile. First, I wore my pretty shoes- so I wasn't getting them dirty on the red clay outside. An inside mile is NINE laps. Ugh.

Brenna (who used to be my friend) was given the task of running with me and pushing me- and timing me. My flipping inhaler didn't work and I was mad. Let's just say that Brenna (who really is still my friend) shouldn't repeat ANYTHING I said in front of her kids.

We ran three laps before I had to walk a bit. Stacy joined us at the start of lap 6, and by that time, I didn't have enough air to get a curse word out. I walked a little more. By lap 8 I was certain I would die. My lungs were ready to explode. I knew. I was almost done. My time to beat was 13:52.

Apparently I turned into Rocky at the beginning of lap 9. I took out my earbuds, threw my iPod to the ground and RAN. The other two knew the time, and I heard Brenna tell Stacy, "Don't say it out loud." Honestly? I thought I was going to be slower, hearing that pushed me more. I had 2 corners to go.

When I finished, I stumbled. My legs were jello. I could not breathe. I was so glad to be done (and shut her the sHELLey up), that I felt tears rolling down my face. I might've sobbed, but I didn't have enough breath.

My time? 12:55. I beat last month by almost a minute. To me, the most important detail is that my original time just a few months ago was 16:16. My goal for August is 12:16. It will be my 4 month boot camp anniversary, and cutting 4 minutes off my time is how I'd like to celebrate.

We all need different methods of motivation, and I need Shelley. I need her to push and challenge me. Sometimes I need her to mother me, be my friend, and other times I need her to piss me off. That's what is so great about her. She, like any amazing teacher, understands the needs of her students. Each student has a different "learning style" and she works them accordingly.

I also need my crew. I needed Brenna and Stacy to push me- without making me cuss them. I needed Melanie to help me breathe when I thought I would die. I needed Tracy to check on me, and I needed sHELLey to prove wrong. :)