I'm in the ARMY now...first day of Boot Camp Pt. 1

I already have my pretty new gym shoes that my parents helped me pick out, I went out and invested in some new DD containers, and I even set everything out the night before. Truthfully, I was like a kid on Christmas Eve. Well, more like a teacher the night before the first day of school. I didn't sleep well, I was TERRIFIED of what was ahead, and I kept waking up to make sure I didn't miss the alarm. You know, the one set for 4:30 am....3 hours earlier than usual.

We walk in the Civic Center and I was so nervous. I saw this fierce looking lady- very runnerish, could kick your butt, and she had a bark. I might've peed a little. She briskly directs us to this gym to fill out paperwork.

I look around the room and see Mattel's entire 2011 Barbie Line. These people got up and did their hair for friggin boot camp. They had matchy matchy gym outfits on and clearly all hung out together at the tennis courts, country club, or (well, it is Gardendale) the First Baptist Church.

Well the barking runner lady came in, because DUH! she's the teacher, and announced that there was no need to be worried- we'd "only" be doing assessments on the first day and that included running a mile, push-ups, sit-ups, and crunches. We'll call this barking runner lady "Shelli" simply because that is her name. Shelli told us that we could take as long as we wanted to run this first mile, but they'd start other assessments in the gym after 20 minutes (then she glimpses at the fat girl), take as long as you need (fat girl glimpse), no one is judging you (anyone want to guess where she looked), and we were just setting the baseline.

Sooooo...we all go outside and people take off running. Barbie, Skipper and the gang were so excited to see if they could beat their previous time. I just remembered that the last time I moved quicker than a jog was when I was being dragged down the road on my face by a donkey. Anyway, I take off at a slight jog and someone I knows jogs up beside me and says, "So, Jocelyn, what brings you here?" Seriously? Ummmm...it's 5:00 in the morning, I'm overweight, and trying to jog my first mile since 8th grade, oh- and I can barely breathe already. Being my polite, morning person self I reply, "DEATH." and keep running (okay jogging). All I knew at this point is that I had decided that I was going to do this in LESS than 20 minutes. I walked as fast as I could. I counted the people that lapped me. As I neared the end, Shelli was outside yelling for me to "push it", so I started to jog again and crossed the finish line with some classmates cheering me on. 16:12 was the time for my mile, and you better believe I will beat it.

The rest of boot camp was fairly uneventful...we did push-ups (and I did a few), we did sit-ups (and I did a few), we did crunches. Did you know that sit-ups and crunches are different? Yea, well, crunches are the ones that fat people can't do because your elbows can't touch your knees.

I survived Day 1.