First, let me say thank you to all of the amazing kind words that I have received in the past two days. Seriously- I will never be able to put into words what the messages, texts, and facebook posts meant to me but I am smiling today! It is almost like I could feel all of those words, prayers, and long distance hugs surrounding me and lifting me out of my sadness. I surely hope you will keep them coming, because like everything, there is an ebb and flow, and I don't want to go back under.
My Uncle Fred commented on facebook that Shelley must be my guardian angel. I'm not exactly sure about that. She keeps trying to kill me. I think I must've been a cat in my previous life and got ripped off the extra eight lives or something. This morning is further proof of her desire to end my life in a slow and painful manner.
But before I tell you all about it, let me celebrate that today ended my FIRST ROUND OF BOOT CAMP! I totally survived. I may have some bumps and bruises, but I. DID. IT. It is such an amazing feeling to know that for eight weeks I set my alarm for 4:30, got out of the bed, and worked out. I cannot believe it. I may not ever believe it. In fact, when my friend and I decide who will drive, I always say, "See you at 5:45!" She has to correct me, I think my mind refuses to acknowledge how early it truly is.
Sooooo...remember those kind words I said about Shelley in my last blog? Well, shortly after it posted, she texted me. It was a promise to "show me her kind of bear hug" and to be ready for "all things animal". I still couldn't imagine her actually hugging me, so I knew I was totally screwed. She started our morning (post mile walk/run) with a song about Noah and his animals. It was accompanied by a maniacal laugh that was kind of scary.
We were divided into teams of three and assigned to stations where we would show our love to the animals. Maybe we had to do the confused bear crawl, duck walk, or the camel walk. Oh- there was a mule kick, donkey kick, kangaroo hop, downward dog, sea turtle swim, dolphin something and the butterfly crunch. None of these should ever be done without the presence of an expert. They also shouldn't be done in public, on hallucinogenic drugs, alcohol or ever again. Sadly, I've left the worst of the station exercises for absolute last....this was the snake something. It involved putting your lower arms on a towel and scoot your fat@ss (in my case) across the gym floor with your feet...basically a barrel race with yourself. It was so painful. They all were, but this snake thing was miserable. Oh- and the alligator push-up was almost as bad. Essentially you walk down the gym in a push-up position moving right arm/left leg and then alternating. My brain had a worse time than my body. Please just get on the floor and try this. Just once. At least there wasn't a jump rope in the room.
Here are some of sHELLey's comments from today:
-This will definately make for your best blog yet (followed by crazy laugh)
- I said I wanted you to be a sea turtle, not a beached sea turtle (I told her I was going for a beached whale)
- So, what DID you eat at The Varsity yesterday?
I've told you all of this and I want those of you who REALLY know me to think about how much my hands and face had to be close to the floor and (worse) in direct contact with the floor. Do you know there is people hair on the floor? So, in addition to trying to figure out the moves and not dying, I had to try not to get some strange person's hair on me. I would have puked. For those of you who don't really know me, I have a HUGE fear of people hair. My sister has really long hair and it is beautiful to everyone...but it creeps me out. My Christina used to have long hair and I'd make her pull it back to come in my kitchen. I had a house with a jetted tub and someone told me hair could come out the jets- so I wouldn't use it. I really hate hair. I tried to explain to sHELLey that there was hair on the floor and she told me there would also be my sweat and tears on the floor. Apparently she had no sympathy.
So finally she announced the magic word, "STOP!" I thought it was that time. We were done, the end had arrived. I waited for everyone to high-five, celebrate, roll out the cake, we were finished....or not. We had to do a caterpillar race. Do you know this? Basically, you sit on the floor one behind the other. The first person runs down the gym, comes back, puts his/her hand between his/her legs, holds hands with the next person and they run down together. This continues until the whole group is one big long line, connected by sweaty hands in sweaty crotches. If your chain breaks- you do ten push-ups. We had an odd number of people and someone was kind enough to volunteer to sit out...but she wasn't having that. My team, even having to do ten push-ups narrowly got second place. We were nearly the champs!!
We were officially finished. No cakes, no high-fives. I guess that's because we will all be back next Tuesday for more. Round two starts May 1. If you're in the area, you should totally join us. I mean, if I can get up at 4:30- why can't you?
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