There are some good stones- Rolling Stones, Tim Stone (my personal favorite). Then there are some bad stones. These kind appear in your kidneys with jagged little edges and make you want to rip your face off.
My mom gets kidney stones...a lot. I never quite understood how painful they are. I do remember about 15 years ago, I got a call at work that Jakes dad was at the ER and they thought he had a heart attack. Nope. Kidney stone. A few years ago, Rhonda Jett missed work because of kidney stones. These are all badass people taken down by millimeters of calcification. So, lets just say I respect the stone.
You may recall my fb past last Saturday about some back pain. In retrospect- that was a hint to my body that I missed. This past Saturday, the first day of college fb season- my favorite day of the year, I hit the couch to watch some games. This attack was a blindside I cannot begin to describe. Out of nowhere I felt this horrible pain in my lower left side. Basically it felt like I'd been kidney punched. I tried everything- a hot shower, lying on both sides, heating pad, ice pack, yoga positions to move the baby. Finally, when I find myself on all fours, rocking and crying- I knew I had to call the doctor. The person on-call told me to go to the ER. I was in Cullman- so we went to that hospital.
Here's a pregnancy benefit: when you're as pregnant as I am- you don't wait in the ER. You go to labor and delivery. Thank goodness. All I needed in my moments of pain was to worry about what I'd catch from whom. EW.
They wheel me up and get me nekkid. I pee in a cup and they draw some blood. They hook me up to a fetal heart monitor and a mommy monitor. One nurse, not the kind Brenda who is my only positive memory of the place, comes in and gruffly says, "You notice blood in your urine?" Ummmmm. No.
Finally, as we wait for the doctor, I ask (you know, for Michaels sake) if we can turn the game on. I'm such a good wife.
Doctor John Wideman (remember his name and run if you ever see him) comes in, says I probably have a kidney stone, maybe a UTI- but he isn't sure so he doesn't want to give me an antibiotic, and since I'm pregnant, sorry- not much to do for me. They give me a shot of Staydol (fast acting, short lasting) pain killer and send me out the door.
A few hours later I'm calling to see when I can take Tylenol...the pain is back. I sleep and wake up Sunday feeling better. By about 2 pm, the pain is back and just there. By 6 pm, I am calling the on-call person again. I'm using Tylenol and a heating pad- but in pain. At 2 am ( one hour after going to bed), I wake Michael to tell him we're going to Birmingham. By 2:30 (and about 20 mikes down the road), the pain is lessening- so I tell him to come home. By 3:30, as a storm is rolling in, I'm waking him again. This time the pain is at its worst. I call St. Vincent's and tell them I'm coming.
I walk in the door, they put me in a room. I get nekkid again, I (finally) pee again, they hook me up to monitors. Soon a nice doctor comes in, tells me they're going to do an ultrasound, check blood, and then tells me I'm not leaving until I'm better. Novel, I know.
By about 12:30, the pain is pushing a 10. It's sudden and I jump out of the bed, sweating, calling for help- I'm pretty sure I'm dying. They give me a shot of Staydol- which helps. I think around 4:30 the big attack hit. This time I'm out of the bed, ripping all of the monitors off, pacing, crying and mention that I'd like to rip my kidney out by hand. Quickly, they give me a different shot and it knocks me out.
This drug continues every 3 hours (or so). My last one was at midnight- which gave me about 4-5 hours of good sleep. I woke up the next morning and haven't had the pain again. We think I passed it, but I was stoned a straining my own pee....so? Did I mention that they had me on an IV the whole time to flush my kidneys AND gave me an antibiotic.
The funniest part- always a bright side- was my child. She refused to allow them to use that heart monitor on her. She'd let them catch her heartbeat and then kicked, wiggled and squirmed away from it. My kid much?
I've had a horrible headache since release. I'm sure part of it is coming off of the narcotic cloud, and part of it is living on saltines and water for a few days (yes, they offered me food, but nooooo).
This story has a sequel about etiquette when sharing hospital space, but I have to get to work!
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