Go With the Flow

So, I've decided to add Body Flow (kind of like yoga or something) to my routine. Sure- it doesn't burn a bajillion calories, but it would be nice to be able to bend, touch my arms behind my back, and well... I do want to make a baby this year. Ha!

As you might remember, I've tried it once. It was a safe environment, a room full of friends, 5 am so every was half asleep and most of us were virgins. It was okay to mess up, giggle or be silly.

Not tonight my friends, not tonight. I walk in the room with only 2 accomplices. Everyone else had their mats all perfectly displayed. They were sitting in a trance Native American style and were quiet. Ummmm BORING? I went ahead and apologized to the stranger behind me for what was going to be a show that only Chris Farley could top. She lied and said she was bad at it too.

Here's the thing that I realized is a major issue in flow: you need to know your left from your right. It's a little awkward to have to make an L with your hand to see which leg to put behind your head. Here's issue number two: Flow is basically a trip to the gynecologist. Seriously. The only difference is the gynecologist lets you keep your socks on (okay and has stirrups to keep your legs up). I wish I could tell you the technical terms of these exercises, but we'll just call them "Go 'Head and Spread 'Em". My legs were spread in 60 minutes than mayonnaise on sandwiches at a family picnic.

I'm going to confess to have more issues. I mean, my bare feet were on the for. Sometimes there is hair on the floor. I worried about that. I worried that everyone was watching me try to get my balance for the 99th time. I worried that I would fall flat on my face and break my huge nose (worried/hoped, same thing).

I was sweating like something horrible. These flow folks do not turn the fans on. My shoulders ached and I considered having them removed (but then I'd be eating fries with my feet...). Finally came the "meditation". In the tanning bed we would call it a nap. I enjoyed it for 60 seconds. Then I decided I better buy my own mat. Would I look funny carrying in Clorox wipes to clean the mat each class? Wait?! Is there a hair touching me? I got a little grossed out and my crazy mind began to wander.

Then it was over. Truthfully, I would never be a good instructor at this. It's so quiet and serious and let me say that Kelsey rocked it. She was super instructional and was giving options a lot (thank goodness). I think it's a challenge. Ive got to conquer this. I must be able to put one leg through without looking like a toddler trying to stand for the first time. I want to BE a cobra.

Oh...and I wouldn't mind being a little more flexible.