Land softly...

Yes, I know I haven't blogged in nearly a week. Would you believe I heard about that from two people? My mom and Shelley. Hysterical duo, if you ask me.

I've worked the past two weeks in Montgomery. Well, most of the time. It has taken me off my game quite a bit. Apparently my blogs have suffered as badly as my apartment, my dog, and the boy (who has had to care for my dog).

I was so excited for last Friday's boot camp. I bought a new T-shirt to wear- it was my response to all of Shelley's shirts. It says, "I will be alive after this for this shit is making me stronger, so bring it." I saw it on Pinterest and had to have it. Soooo, I walk in. And guess who isn't there? Ugh. I wore my new shirt for this?!?

However, Melissa was, and she was ready to bring it. We had to do sets of 3 exercises (10 of each to start), go upstairs, run a lap, come down, do the next set of 3 exercises, run upstairs...do you get the drift?!

The poor girl just doesn't know how to deal with me. At one point I was stressing about all the "jumpy" exercises and she told me to land softly. I had to explain to her that 240 doesn't exactly land softly. It's like asking a rhino to land softly or a bull to be a ballerina in a china shop. Not happening.

I guess most of it is mental. I mean, my knees hurt a lot after working out, and I need to learn to be more graceful. It's going to take a long time for that to happen. I almost wish we had a video camera to show you how funny i look doing some of these exercises...

Can we talk for a minute about how sucky the body changes are with this weight loss and exercise? First, my girls are reverting. It is so sad. I lie down and so do they. I look towards my stomach, and my boobs have disappeared. I'm not sure if they are seeking warmth under my armpits or if they are just tired, but I am so sad to watch them leave. One day I will wake up and find all that remains are tube socks with marbles in the bottom of them.

You know what is worse? Ok, maybe nothing, but a close second is the fact that my stomach isn't going away. My legs are changing a little, but you'd think that after 23 pounds, at least one of them would be from my gut- NOPE! Some women are pear shaped, some are lean and tall like a banana, I'm turning into an orange with legs. Ugh.

This is the stuff that's discouraging. Combine it with 2 months of eating less than 1280 calories a day- and I'm frustrated. I've plateaued some and haven't lost a pound in over a week. I monitor my calories closely, barely eat any cheat food (read: no birthday cake), haven't had a sweet tea or real soda in months, and exercise at least 3 times a week. I know this happens to everyone, but tomorrow is scale day at the gym. I think they would frown on me showing up nekkid to weigh...that, my friends, would not be good for business.

I guess I'll keep trucking and not get discouraged- though I really want to make rice krispy treats with Lucky Charms...I'll practice landing softly and when I become graceful, y'all better watch out. Grab a warm coat because hell will freeze over.

PS. If you know any good boob exercises, let me know ;)

J